


Your pain (and the pain in your words)

by calie15



Category: Arrow - Fandom
Genre: Accidental Drug Use, Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, F/M, Hurt/Comfort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-10-29
Updated: 2013-10-29
Packaged: 2017-12-30 20:04:36
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,168
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1022836
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/calie15/pseuds/calie15
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Felicity suffers the painful effects of Vertigo, Oliver suffers a different type of pain in the process.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Your pain (and the pain in your words)

Oliver flew down the steps, taking two and three at a time. Digg was already far ahead of him, flipping on lights and pulling out equipment. The brief silence from the woman digging her nails into his arms was broken by hyperventilating and finally by an ear piercing scream as her back arched and she pushed from him. Oliver tightened his old.

“Make it stop, make it stop, make it stop,” Felicity whimpered with her eyes glued shut, shaking her head furiously. “Oliver…”

He heard the plea and he swallowed thickly in response. “I know, I am,” he whispered and carried her the rest of the way until he reached a sofa. Oliver remembered the feeling of his body cramping, burning, breaking. The dosage of Vertigo Felicity received wasn’t as much as his own, but she was also significantly smaller then him. “Digg hurry.”

“I’m working on it!” He called out, panic in his voice as he set up the drip.

“It’s going to be okay,” he whispered, holding her face against his shoulder. Small hands fisted his shirt, pulling the material so that it yanked at his neck.

“I can’t-I can’t-.” She panted, pushing at the arms banded around her as a wave up pain rippled through her, twisting and knotting her body. Through gritted teeth she screamed. “Let go!”

When she fought him he tightened his hold.

“Let go!” She screamed in anger, finding the skin at his arms and digging her nails into it as she drug them down.

Oliver winced. “I can’t Felicity,” he rasped and tolerated her punishment just so he could keep a hold of her. She began to hyperventilate again and by now he knew that was the cue as to when her pain was building. “I’m sorry,” he whispered and rocked her just before her body tensed against him and she screamed into his chest. It was his fault. He’d brought her. He’d assumed he could keep her safe. It should have been him suffering, not her.

“Alright, put her on the table,” Digg said and grabbed the bowl of mixed ingredients.

Oliver stood and moved quickly to the medical area, clutching Felicity to him. Part of him was reluctant to let her go, she was his burden to bear. It was necessary though.

“Hold her up,” Digg instructed and lifted the bowl to her mouth. “Felicity.”

Oliver watched her stare at Dig, gritting her teeth as she panted through them. From the wild look in her eyes he knew it wasn’t her, not really. Not his Felicity.

“Felicity open up,” Digg demanded then cursed as she stared back up with hardened eyes. “Damnit, lay her back.” Grabbing her nose he held, watching as she held her breath and her eyes widened with the effort.

“Damnit Felicity just breathe!” Oliver roared. Her mouth opened with a loud inhale and Digg immediately brought the bowl to her lips. She choked on it and Oliver reached out again to lift her head.

“Alright,” Digg said, satisfied with the amount she’d ingested and put the bowl to the side before rolling the drip over to him. With a quick swipe of an alcohol paid on her arm Digg reached for the needle.

When her eyes squeezed shut and body tensed Oliver hovered over her and brought a hand to her face. “Felicity.” Blue eyes opened meeting his, the pain clear in them. She opened her mouth as if to say something, but then she threw her head back screaming through clench teeth as her body arched off the table.

“Hold her!”

Oliver grasped her arms and pulled her down. “Felicity! Look at me. I need you to look at me!” She came down from the pain, panting, eyes still closed as her head rolled back and forth. “Look at me.” And slowly her eyes opened, and for a minute he would have sworn it was her. Something touched his face and he glanced down to find her arm raised. Fingertips brushed his cheek and then the palm of her hand. In a split second her hand went from a caress to grasping his face and digging her nails into his cheek.

“I hate you!” She screamed, trying to lift of the table to get closer to him and cause more damage.

Oliver hissed at the pain in his cheek and quickly released her arm to grab her wrist and pin it to her chest. She lifted her other hand to find his arm to cause the same damage.

“I hate you! Just die! Just go back to the fucking island and die!” Felicity spat and fought against the arms holding her down. With no escape in site she let out a furious scream.

“God damnit,” Digg cursed and grabbed her wrist to pull her arm down. “This is probably going to hurt,” he said as he practically shoved the needle into her arm. With her wrist pinned to the table he grabbed the tape and secured it over the needle before reaching for the IV, cursing as he attempted to start the drip with one hand.

“Felicity, stop,” Oliver whispered as he used his own body weight to keep her pressed against the table. With one arm pinned between their chests he reached for the arm Digg held down and secured it, allowing Digg to move freely. She bucked up, trying to free herself from him, but Oliver wasn’t letting her have a go at him again.

Felicity growled in frustration, stilling, and for a moment Oliver relaxed. Then she screamed, her body bowing off the table again.

“I hate you! You’re a killer,” she spat angrily. “You should die. It should be you.”

Oliver didn’t hear her words, he wouldn’t let himself hear them. Slowly, her eyes began to droop.

“I hate you,” she said, this time more weakly, “and I don’t love you.” Slowly, her eyes began to flutter, but remained fixed on him. “No on loves a killer. Just go…just go…just be alone and die alone. You deserve it.”

He stared at her, unfeeling, a mask on his face as he watched her eyes close. Her head rocked for side to side slowly.

“Oliver…” Felicity whined slowly.

Instinct told him to respond, reassure her. But even when she opened her eyes to look up at him he couldn’t find words. He would swear there was something pleading in her eyes, but she closed them again and her head rolled to the side. For a moment he watched her, wanted to be positive she was sleeping. Slowly he dropped his head against her chest, unable to push himself off her body just yet.

“She didn’t mean it.”

Oliver squeezed the wrist he held between them, not hard enough that it would hurt her, but needing to feel it in his hand. Logically, Digg was right, except he’d heard everything she’d said. Felicity knew him better then anyone, she also knew what would hurt, and the fact that it came from her lips made it unbearable. Through closed lids his eyes burned and he released a shaky breath.  
~~~~~~~~~~

Oliver brought her home after they disconnected the drip. Part of him wanted her at his home, but it was a false sense of security and he he knew when she woke she’d rather be in her own bed. After Digg had helped him get her up to her apartment he’d stripped her out of her clothes, wiped her down with a wet wash cloth, attempting to wipe some of the sweat from her body, pulled a t-shirt over her head and waited.

Through the night he’d remained awake, pacing, sitting next to her in bed. Finally, in the early morning hours he’d laid down next to her, dozing from the need for sleep. That’s when he heard her groan and he turned his head just in time to see her beginning to stir. Sitting up quickly, Oliver leaned over her and brought a hand to her cheek. She moaned in response. “You’re going to feel like you have a hangover.”

“Water,” she croaked, wincing without even opening her eyes.

Oliver reached for the bottle of water he had ready and uncapped it. Bringing a hand beneath her head he tilted it up, watching her wince further. She sipped for the bottle then titled her head away. After setting it back to the side he turned back to her to find her rolling over and facing him, eyes slanted. He moved closer, bring an arm around her body and pressing close.

“I’m sorry,” she whispered against his chest.

Oliver sighed and brushed a kiss against her hair. “It wasn’t your fault, it was mine.”

“What I said…” Felicity winced as she spoke and turned her face into his chest. “God my head hurts.”

“I’ll get you something,” he said and moved to stand, but she gripped his side, making it clear she wanted him to remain.

“I didn’t mean it.”

Oliver brought a hand to the back of her head and tilted his own down so that his forehead was pressed against her own. “I know you didn’t.” Yet it stung. He wouldn’t tell her that though. Felicity knew it hurt him, she knew him well enough. To have the woman you depended on for everything tell you she hated you and wished you were dead wasn’t something that you brushed off. He wouldn’t admit that he stayed there after the drugs took effect, clutching her hand and burying his face into her stomach, fighting off tears of guilt and hurt. That he sat there trying to remind himself that he was a good man, as she always told him, and that he didn’t deserve to die on the island.

“But-.” She began to argue.

Oliver shook his head. “I know what the drug does. I tried to kill Diggle Felicity. I know.” Her eyes flickered over his face and then she raised a hand to his cheek. The skin was raw where she scratched him and his cheek twitched in response to the sensation. When he saw her eyes began to water with tears he grabbed her hand and turned his face into it, pressing a kiss to her palm. “It’s okay.”

“I’m sorry,” she said again, her voice pained. “I hurt you and-.”

“I was supposed to keep you safe. That’s my job. That’s always my job. I failed you. Don’t apologize Felicity.” When she opened her mouth to argue he shook his head and pressed a kiss to her forehead. “Let me get you something for your head. Then if you want I’ll help you in the shower. I wiped you down last night because of how much you sweat, but that’s about all I could do.”

“Thanks,” she said softly and blinked, tears escaping form the corners.

Oliver sighed and brought his palm to her cheek and brushed the tears away. “Close your eyes, it’s okay.” She nodded and did as he instructed. Oliver pushed away carefully and went to the bag of supplies he’d packed. Regular pain reliever wouldn’t do. He’d packed some stronger things. Hopefully strong enough to help her sleep it off.

When he turned around she was sitting up, hair mussed and pressing a hand to her forehead. “I said stay laying down.” Walking around the bed he grabbed the water and then came to her side and sat on the edge of the mattress. She took the two pills without question and put them into her mouth, taking the water bottle from him next. After she took a few sips and handed it back to him she sighed and stared at him.

“I love you,” Felicity said gently, “and I know you said it’s okay, but I’m still sorry you had to hear it. I would never-.”

“I know,” he interrupted and leaned in, grasping her arm to press a kiss to her forehead. He lowered his head and touched his forehead to her own. “Don’t worry about it anymore. You’re going to feel like shit the rest of the day as it is. And you look it.” A smile cracked on her face and he returned it, already feeling at ease again.

“Maybe I will take that shower,” she said with a small chuckle and moved to stand.

Oliver wasn’t surprised when she swayed backwards. He wrapped an arm around her back to steady her and then slid another beneath her legs. “The drug isn’t entirely out of your system.” He lifted her into his arms and she sighed. Immediately he flashed back to the previous night, carrying her as she screamed in pain and he fought against flinching at the memory.

“This should be a fun day,” Felicity grumbled into Oliver’s chest as he carried her to the bathroom.

“I’m not leaving you,” he told her, and he hoped she knew that, but he felt the need to reassure her anyway. Oliver would do anything it took to keep Felicity safe.


End file.
